| ThirstyAngelFish |
|
|
| |
|
|
| What I'm Doing... |
|
|
| Archives |
|
|
| Google |
|
|
| Books |
|
|
| Other things |
|
|
| Aussie Bookshop |
|
|
|
|
|
Do or do not... There is no try
|
| Friday, 11 September 2009 |
My Joke of the Week
bookmark this at :: del.icio.us
:: Digg it
|
A Southern small-town prosecutor called his first witness, a respectful, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. Quickly jumping in, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your asses in jail for contempt."
Laughter is catching so let's pass it on...Labels: Elaine Butcher, Joke of the Week, Laughter |
posted by ThirstyAngelFish @ 12:38 PM  |
|
|
|
| Friday, 4 September 2009 |
My Joke of the Week
bookmark this at :: del.icio.us
:: Digg it
|
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. After many years, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact with his wife in a dream.
"Mary... Mary..." he called.
"Is that you, Fred?" she asked.
"Yes," he said. "I've come back like we agreed."
"What's it like?" Mary asked.
"Well, I get up in the morning. I have sex. I have breakfast. I run around the golf course. I have sex. I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again, and sex again," he said.
"Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven!" Mary exclaimed.
"Not exactly," Fred said. "I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."
Laughter is catching so let's pass it on...Labels: Elaine Butcher, Joke of the Week, Laughter |
| posted by ThirstyAngelFish @ 12:35 PM |
|
|
|
| Saturday, 29 August 2009 |
My Joke of the Week
bookmark this at :: del.icio.us
:: Digg it
|
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Laughter is catching so let's pass it on...Labels: Elaine Butcher, Joke of the Week, Laughter |
| posted by ThirstyAngelFish @ 12:23 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Food For Thought |
|
|
| Newsletter |
Enter your details to receive Count On This! News
|
|
|
|
| Little Gems |
|
|
| Previous Post |
|
| Google |
|
|
| Info |
|
| Google |
|
>
|
| Other things |
|
|
|
|
